I know there are some of you women and men out there patiently waiting for their husband or wife God has for them. And trust me, I know that waiting can sometimes feel like a lifetime. Valentine’s day was last week and I know you were probably looking on social media at all the couples, engagements, pregnancies, and everything and were just longing for that relationship. Trust me, I get it! Being single can definitely have its ups and downs. You’re probably thinking, “I’m getting older, when is it going to happen for me?” Or “everyone close to me is getting married and having kids, I want that for myself.” Maybe you’ve had family members questioning when you’re getting married. I have had these questions in my mind several times and been asked this as well. So, I definitely understand that sometimes being single may not seem fun. But either way, I wanted to share my thoughts on being in your single season.
In my opinion, being single is such an amazing time that should not be taken for granted by any means! You have so much time to spend with Jesus, learn about yourself and make some changes, go into ministry and do work for the kingdom! So many things! This is the time where if you want to travel and do mission trips, you can without checking in with your husband or wife. If you don’t have kids, this is your time to care for yourself. Once you get into a relationship or get married, your time will be different. Singleness should not be looked at as a burden. Understand this, if you desire to be married, God will provide that for you. God honors and loves marriage. But we are all placed in a season for a purpose. Marriage is a different season you will have to be in with different challenges coming your way. It’s important not to neglect or try to rush through your single season. That time with Jesus, you learn so much about Him and His love for you and you’ll be able to identify who you are in Christ!
Now, a lot of times, people have the assumption that when they get married, all their baggage gets buried and they don’t have to deal with it anymore. We are in a society where people are getting married for the wrong reasons or people stay in relationships because they don’t want to be single. That’s why I believe it’s so important to use your single time to really spend time with God and build your relationship with Him so we can better position ourselves for what He has for us. Just a disclaimer, I am not married nor have I been before. I have been single for a year and a half now and these are just some of the things that I have learned while being single!
Here are 3 things that you can be doing during your single season!
Jesus should be number one in everything that we do. Proverbs 3:6 states that we are to “acknowledge God in all our ways and He will direct our paths.” So many times, we get into relationships with people and we don’t even ask God if we should. We get so caught up in our flesh and not seeking God, then have to deal with the consequences of our decision. We can avoid a lot of heartaches if we just ask God for discernment and actually listen to what He says. Take this time with the Lord so He can transform your mind and renew your heart. Matthew 6:33 states “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” This just means that when you allow God to be the main focus in your life, everything else will fall into place.
So much can be said about this point right here because of how important it is. Everyone has traumas from childhood, past relationships, etc., and a lot of times, we don’t heal from them and carry that baggage into the next relationship. Then you’re putting on your past hurt and pain onto your partner and causing strife between you two. Being single is such a good time to allow God to heal you of those traumas. He does not want you carrying them into every relationship you encounter. This is a good time to work on your character and allow God to transform you into who He wants you to be.
This is literally what Jesus has called all of us to do is to serve. We ought to be a servant to the Lord but also learn to serve others abundantly without expecting anything in return. Mark 10:43 states, “Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant.” This is the key to greatness in the eyes of the Lord. Jesus came on earth to serve and we are to be like Christ and serve as well. This is something that is not talked about often because a lot of times we fall into serving others or giving and expecting to gain something in return. I believe that this is something so important when it comes to being a disciple of Christ.
I pray these tips are helpful during your single season! No matter what season you are in though, remember that it is a gift and you are to ask the Lord what you should be doing in that particular season. Lean onto Jesus all the time and He will direct all of your paths!